


Time nor Place

by Saytherin



Series: Roy/Ed Week 2018 [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alphonse Elric Is Right As Always, Ed and Roy are idiots, Edward Elric Is A Little Shit, Edward Elric Swears, Fighting, Fuhrer Roy Mustang, M/M, Roy Mustang Makes Innuendos At Truly Inappropriate Times, Roy/Ed Week 2018, They are also very much in love, assassination attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-28 11:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15706323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saytherin/pseuds/Saytherin
Summary: And Roy, the incredible moron he could be at times, was currently digging the heel of his right military issue boot very thoroughly in Ed’s toes. He would have applauded his lover for that had the iron-infused piece of fucking rubber not been digging in his toes, since they were both kneeling and it was almost physically impossible to get the back of a foot anyhwere near the ground, let alone generate enough pressure to hurt this fucking much.“I don’t mean to be rude,” He whisper yelled in the other’s ear, “But would you maybe mind leaving my toes in one piece. I swear to god Roy, it almost seems like you do it on purpose.”Roy shifted slightly, succesfully removing his heel from the blonde’s flesh foot, reassuring the now pain-free man in the meantime. “I promise I would never hurt you on purpose,” Then the Führer tilted his head slightly, glancing at Ed from the corners of his eyes while quirking one corner of his mind a little. “Unless you are into that, of course”Ed promptly decided he would be the only now of them sleeping in a proper bad tonight.





	Time nor Place

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit, who made tagging this hard!?
> 
> Also this marks my entrance to the Fullmetal Alchemist Fandom. This is the fourth fic I ever finished don't judge me. Constructive criticism is appreciated, as is any offer to beta the rest of the fics for this RoyEd week and any other FMA fics after that (please send help).
> 
> I did not have any will left to look the entire fit over, I just wrote it, slapped a title on it and defenestrated myself in frustration not too long afterwards (still think it's a side effect from the caffeine, but whatever I guess.
> 
> Thanks to TinyInsignificantHumans for looking this over and filtering out the most glaring of grammatical and stylistic mishaps.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Shit! Fucking goddamn hell! Get out of the fucking way you bastard, Holy- Get down!” Ed cursed as he ran towards Roy, jumping the last few feet to tackle him to the ground, out of the way of a crossbow bolt coated in a murky purple-brownish glow. In all honesty, it looked a little dangerous, it also looked like something he did not want to pry out of Roy’s body later on. Mainly because the Führer of Amestris got terribly whiny and needy when wounded and the former state alchemist had better things to do than looking after his fiancé when said man was just fishing for pity and cuddles (he’d get those anyway and the fucker knew it).

The alchemist they were currently fighting was considerably less whiny. That did, however, not make her any less irritating or potentially dangerous. He had bumped into her as he had been climbing his way up to the window of Roy’s office (more specifically the window that ended up in the room before Roy’s office because the bastard had locked his for some unclear reason that may or may not have anything to do with something the suave fucker called ‘an unfair attempt at assassinating a perfectly fine mustache’). The female alchemist had been perched on the windowsill, peering in at seemingly random intervals when he had come across her. Without thinking too long about it he had jumped the woman, an action that had proven to be spectacularly stupid a mere second after it’s initiation, seeing as they had been clinging to a wall several goddamn stories up from the dirty gray cement of the courtyard and they had been plummeting towards said hard surface at a fairly high vertical velocity not too long after that. Ed, unable to do alchemy, had plunged one of his knives in the side of the military building while the other had used air pressure to soften her landing and propel her forwards, leaving the scene with a trail of dark hair floating behind her. He had given chase while Roy had stuck his head out of the window, followed by the rest of his body the moment he had grasped the situation and now here they were, kneeling behind a stack of crates for cover as the unknown alchemist fired arrow after arrow at their general direction.

And Roy, the incredible moron he could be at times, was currently digging the heel of his right military issue boot very thoroughly in Ed’s toes. He would have applauded his lover for that had the iron-infused piece of fucking rubber not been digging in his toes, since they were both kneeling and it was almost physically impossible to get the back of a foot anyhwere near the ground, let alone generate enough pressure to hurt this fucking much.

“I don’t mean to be rude,” He whisper yelled in the other’s ear, “But would you maybe mind leaving my toes in one piece. I swear to god Roy, it almost seems like you do it on purpose.”

Roy shifted slightly, succesfully removing his heel from the blonde’s flesh foot, reassuring the now pain-free man in the meantime. “I promise I would never hurt you on purpose,” Then the Führer tilted his head slightly, glancing at Ed from the corners of his eyes while slightly lifting one corner of his mouth in a lopsided smirk . “Unless you are into that, of course”

Ed’s entire face felt like Roy had snapped his fingers and set fire to it. He probably looked the part, too. It really was a pity that his anger flared up twice as fast as his face had. A pity mainly because he'd have to share a bed with either a cold emptiness or the minced remains of the Amestrian Ruler.

He managed to force out some words in what could probably be classified as legible despite the embarrassment that was currently choking him. “It seems like you are the one that seems to like pain more than they should, seeing as you keep talking like that. Fancy sleeping on the couch after I have decked you in the face tonight? And the rest of the month if you keep this up.” The Fire Alchemist paled slightly and his own pained grimace slowly morphed into a borderline psychopathic grin.

In hindsight, he should have expected it. The bastard had never been one to give up in the face of adversity. “I mean, if you’re offering who am I to refuse?”

“Ishvala above, I am going to kill this idiot” He swore under his breath while rolling his eyes.

“As long as as it happens in one of the aforementioned methods, I could get behind that.”

Now he was going to get it. If Hawkeye came to him later asking why the fuckface was dead he’d just make something up and face her wrath. Then he aimed, and he kicked. The Führer stumbled, tripped, made several extremely ungraceful rolls and landed in a miserable blue-and-gold colored heap in the middle of the pavement. In full sight of their assailant. She hadn’t seen him yet, but it wouldn’t take long.

Eh, might as well speed the process up to save them all some precious time. “You can have him,” He started, smiling vengefully as his victim shot a shocked look his way. “But I will warn you before he starts spewing all kinds of bullshit, he probably is more trouble than he is worth.

“I resent that!”

“Duly noted and discarded, Mustang!” Now he got a visual of the attacker as well, it was kind of funny to see the matching looks of shock on the face of both the hunter and the prey. She kind of looked at him like he was crazy, which was maybe kind of a valid concern. Maybe. He did put up with the bastard and his crew, that he still hung around with them possibly said more about his sanity than he wanted to admit, but yeah, whatever. It didn't mean he was mad or anything.

Although he had just thrown his fiancé in from of his attempted killer. He probably should go rescue the asshat.

_>(*)<_

“Roy! Let me go!”

“Dear, you know I don’t like holding you back or slowing you down, but can we please not do this now?” 

“Fuck you bastard, I need to go to the fucking toilet” Yes, Roy could see that. Ed was currently making the face that usually accompanied his need to relieve his bladder. Too bad it looked way less cute when not made in their comfortable bed.

“And I would love to let you, sweetheart, but could you maybe keep it in for a few more minutes? This one time, just for me. Please?” He carefully lifted a hand to Ed’s face and stroked a blonde bang behind his ear. His hand was promptly forced to the right as Ed suddenly turned his head in an attempt to remove said extremity from his cheek. He didn’t seem to think that as enough as an answer, seeing as he proceeded to bear his teeth and hiss like a kitten. It was really quite endearing, not that he would ever say such a thing in front of Edward of all people. He was not that suicidal.

Ed had begun to color a bit red in the meantime, presumably in anger, and now he had begun yelling in his face. “Why won’t you just let go of my goddamn hand you fucking pervert!” The spit was really unpleasant on his face. “Let! Me! GO!” Every word was accentuated with a sharp tug.

“Hey, are you maybe going to like, finish or are we going to have to sit on these uncomfortable chairs for a few more hours?”

Roy snapped his head in the direction of the source of the sound in shock. Next to him he saw Ed do the same. It was only then that he remembered were they were and even more important, what they were supposed to be doing. 

It was the 20th of may, and they were standing in front of an enormous(ly rowdy) crowd. Waiting to be wed. Almost at the part they were supposed to say ‘yes’ and kiss and be happy and whatever. 

And they were fighting.

At least it would be memorable and completely in character.

If the slight heat to his right had anything to say about it, and it probably had, he guessed Ed had remembered, too and that he was also blushing to the point of actual warmth generation. Roy refused to take blame.

Ed was the first to recover from the surprise, shooting a quick “Shut up, Havoc.” to the offending blonde. The familiar banter had pulled Roy out of his stupor as well, urging him to look at was hopefully still his soon-to-be husband. Still a bit red in the face, Ed nodded. Roy nodded back and turned to Al, who had claimed the right to wed the both of them as soon as they had told him under the ground of ‘No other official will be able to put up with you two long enough to make sure it all goes well. And don’t give me that look brother, you know I am right’ and nodded at him, too, signing that it was something akin to save to carry on the ceremony.

They managed to make it past the rest of the vows without too much trouble. So, not too long after the debacle, they had both said ‘yes’. Before Al could even start his sentence Ed was already on Roy, kissing him like there was no tomorrow (which was, again, a valid concern, considering who they were). 

If the hall cleared out quicker then theoretically possible, it was not their fault. It was also not because Ed had managed to push him down without breaking their kiss and the blonde was currently straddling him on the ground. That had absolutely nothing to do with it.


End file.
